I Think It's Important To E X P L O R E . . .

Really, I do. We have this whole world at our finger tips -- so many different cultures, cities, rolling hills, road-side diners. When I was a little girl, I told my mother that I wanted to live each year in a different place, simply so I could expereince the feeling of what it means to be a true part of said-place, & not just be a tourist. Now is the time for me to do just that. 

There are so many things I want to say; so many things I want to write about. The running list I keep is a compilation of singular moments, that will someday hopefully all come together to create something beautiful -- 

The time I was at a half-star motel in Arizona & saw a girl in an old high school sweatshirt sitting on the steps smoking a lonely cigarette. 

The feeling that goes along with sitting alone on your porch at night; listening to old "annnd here's Frank Sinatra!" tracks while eating Chinese out of cute little boxes as the breeze takes control of the world around you and sends a single soda can clicking down the empty street, momentarily interrupting poor Frank & the boys. 

When you take on a solo road trip, and that indescribable feeling of freedom hits you every time you realize the power & independence you hold in your hands as you grasp that wheel. 

When you cross a state line for the very first time, perfect song escaping on full volume out your open windows, and you know in your heart you will never be able to experience that "first" again. 

That one night you sat there under your hometown stars with the three people that mean the most to you in the world, playing cards by candle light & pretending like your universe wasn't about to be turned upside down in a few days by the deceptive force that commonly goes by the name of "college". 

Exploring is more than landmarks and theme parks. It's all of those feelings, expereinces, moments & more; and it's the people you expereince them with. So go drink a beer in Nashville; slide up onto a New York barstool & order a Manhattan like it's nobody's business; pop open a bottle of sparkling champagne in Paris. And you know those beautiful human beings who love you because you're you? Who you can't imagine living without? Pack them in your suitcase and bring them along. 

Someday, I will write a book. Someday, you'll be walking through Barnes & Noble and see my name there, on the "Up & Coming Fiction" table, between Maupin and Moyes. And your eyes will do a double-take. You'll pick it up, and some line like "I went to high school with this girl" or "Wow, when I knew her she was so quiet, is this really hers?" will run through your mind. And I hope you'll want to read it. 

It will be filled with moments like the ones above, and many more that I have not expereinced yet. So I suppose I'm just as in the dark as you are, friend-that-just-picked-up-my-future-novel. Who knows what's filling those pages; I sure don't, at least not yet. But I can assure you they will be living, breathing words that I hold dear to my heart -- and I hope you will be able to get some life out of them too. I hope they will encourage you to go out and start your own mod-podge of moments. You can't go looking for them, you simply have to go out and wait for them to find you. They will, I promise - and when they do, you'll be ready. You'll know when they arrive because a familiar yet completely unique sensation will come over you, and you'll know you absolutely, without a doubt, need to write this down.

That's why I want to try and tackle fiction for my Unfamilar Genre Project. I want to jump right into it, and write about things that effect me and stick with me as important. This also applies to my so-far expereinces I've had in the teaching program. Those moments where you are encouraged and affirmed that you are perusing the right career; when you know that this is your passion. When that student calls you over after you just taught your first solo lesson on apostrophes and says, "Miss McCrillis! I just found the perfect way to remember the differences between its and it's!" There are still some students out there that are excited about learning, and our job as future teachers are to encourage them as well as other students who don't exactly love learning (yet). There will be some hard days, but there will also be moments after moments like the one mentioned above; and those are the moments I want to teach for. I want students to learn to love writing and realize their own purpose behind the pen; and to know that they can change the world's perspective by sharing their own. 

My goal for this class is to start working on the rough outline of my Unfamilar Genre Project within the next few weeks, and the start writing the rough draft. I want to get my ideas out on the page, and then go back and edit, edit, edit. I want it to be an evolving work that is constantly changing and getting better. With my writing group helping me out, I don't see how this will not work. This will be a writing success story for me, and I know that at the end of the semester I will feel extremely accomplished. Hopefully someday I'll look back and still feel motivated from the work I have done this semester, and be thankful for it as well. I want it to be a stepping stone towards future writing I will do, like my own book someday. I think learning to collaborate with my writing group is a huge step in the growing process for me -- learning to open up and accept criticism as well as praise is something I need to work on. Learning this skill will prepare me and help me to become a stronger and more confident writer. 

Morning Pages 2.25.16

Why I Write. . . 

Personally, I don't think we ask ourselves this question enough. It should always be at the forefront of our minds, because our writing should always have a purpose. For me, my purpose is always changing depending on what I am writing. While writing in my personal journal I write for pleasure, for making sense of my feelings, for the sake of recoding fleeting moments in time that I'll never get back. I believe in all of that -- most importantly, that those moments when you look around and realize you will never be as happy as you are right in that second ever again, need to be recorded. When I write for a class such as this one, I write to improve my skills. I write with the sole purpose of growing in my abilities so that I can continue to write better and better in the future. I think writing is a task that requires maturing over time, because it should always be evolving as your learn more. While writing my personal blog, I write for the sake of telling my own story, sharing things I hold dear, and branching out in my confidence. My personal blog is a place for me to share my writing as well as my life with others, and it helps me to grow in my own confidence. 

Writing carries a different meaning for each and every one of us, it is a deeply personal expereince. Writing captures a tiny moment in time, and fleshes it out into half a chapter of the next best-selling novel; it re-creates emotions and feelings that come with certain places so that others can experience them as well. Writing takes me to Paris, a farm in Kansas, a country music bar in Tennessee. Writing expands our world, takes us to places we long to be, and reminds us of the places we have been. 

Morning Pages 2.23.16

A Letter to the Next President . . . 

    As a teacher in the United States I think that during your term you need to use your power for good in the education system. This country needs to realize that it is important and ever-changing. 

And I guess for now I don't have anything else to say, because I've been staring at this page for the entire morning pages time and I couldn't come up with a single thing, I'm so sorry. 

My Unfamiliar Genre Project - Beginnings

The nature of the Unfamilar Genre Project is to try out and expereince a genre that you've never been a part of before, or even never successfully conquered. Facing those genres that make you nervous is a great idea to help you improve and grow as a writer -- because fear has no place in the life of a writer. Creativity, perseverance, an open mind? Yes. Fear that it "won't be good enough" or nervousness that you "won't be able to do it"? No. 

For my Unfamilar Genre Project, I want to try an tackle a style of writing that I have struggled with in the past: fiction/short stories. In the past, when I have tried to sit down and write my own short story, my thought process would come to a screeching halt because I would realize that I was unintentionally & subconsciously mimicking stories I had read in the past. Whether it be a slight representation with small similarities to some of my favorite novels or a combination of a few, I would get frustrated that my mind "couldn't come up with anything fully & purely unique" and I would stop. 

I have decided that it is time to conquer this relationship I have with fiction built out of frustration and fear. It's been a long time knowing ya, but I think it's time to cut ties -- I have bigger and better things to move on to, like fearless fiction. 

My Unfamiliar Genre Project will be unique, it will be pure, and it will be my own. I want to write a fiction story about either of the following. . . A) the life & times of a sixth grade classroom from the perspective of a fairly new teacher  -or-  B) the perspective of a sixth grade student dealing with and trying to conquer middle school for the first time.  I think either of these ideas will help me with my creative process, and will help me develop more experience writing fiction.  

I have massive amount of motivation to improve my fiction writing skills, I have always wanted to be able to write my own book someday -- I just never thought it could become reality until now. Starting with this project, and taking baby steps towards my goal will help me become successful and tackle this fear. 

I'm ready for you, unfamiliar genre. Let's do this!

The Power of "Not Yet"

In response to Carol Dweck's TED talk -- 

I was moved by her words and her passion she so clearly felt behind them. As teachers, and quite frankly as decent human beings, we need to realize the power of our words and how we say them. Tone, context, and many other factors can change how you effect others without even realizing it. Simple positive changes, for example, could be using the phrase "keep practicing, next time you'll get it right" rather than "that's not right, please try again".  Combining positive reinforcement with gentle suggestions on how to improve will create a vibe in the classroom that makes students feel like they are constantly improving; constantly moving forward; never stagnate.  No one wants a stagnate classroom -- we want active thinkers and positive doers. The minute a student feels like they truly cannot do a math problem or rewrite a sentence so it isn't a fragment is the minute they completely check out. If they do not feel like they have the potential, why would they want to keep trying if they are lead to believe they will continue failing? Keeping in mind the other students in class is also something we as teachers should realize has a huge effect on specific students. How do you think they feel if you are constantly praising other students' work, while telling them they're wrong? Casting a positive, encouraging glow over all of your comments as a teacher will create a better classroom environment. To put it simply, students need to know from the get-go that you will always believe in their potential to understand and learn ANYTHING. They are too young to have that personal "I'm going to force myself to succeed no matter what" mindset; nor is it time for them to think like that yet. They need encouragement and they fully deserve it. As they move on and grow through their lives, hopefully that positive mindset of "not yet" will catch on. Years will fly by, and without them even realizing where it came from, they will be thinking thoughts like "I don't understand college level molecular biology yet, but I will" and "I'm not ready for that full time leadership position at work yet, but I will be". This mindset can start now. We can teach content while teaching life skills and perseverance. Taking the time to polish your words and create a positive classroom vibe where anything is possible is worth it. Instilling this motivation in students may be even more important than them remembering every single word on their vocab list, because it is a mindset that will set them up for success for years to come. We as teachers cannot simply preach this idea, but we must practice it ourselves too. Students learn from example. They need to see that their teacher is fearlessly approaching the tasks life hands her with a growing, positive glow of "not yet". Giving the power of "not yet" creates fearless, motivated learners.

On My First Day as a Real-Life Teacher

Dear Future-Teacher-Me,

    Today you woke up and realized something: you're a ''real'' adult now. With a ''real'' job.
. . . And you're going to impact  R E A L  lives.

    The kids aren't always going to listen to you, they won't always get perfect grades, and they certainly will not always be simple. But it is going to be worth it -- because they will grow, and you'll grow along with them.

    It's scary, being the one in charge. You are going to have to be a leader and learn to stand up for what you want your classroom to look like. The way you impact your students on the first day is critical -- they need to know that even though you are soft-spoken (and almost as tall as many of them) that you still intend to be listened to.

    Classroom management and attitude is oh-so-important. My students need to know that I am on their side. They need to know the classroom is a safe place; a place where everyone (including me) shares one common goal: to improve & truly learn. I want to be on their side. I want to encourage them not only in their academics but in their social and mental skills.

    This is a big task to take on, but remember you have been trained for this! You have read all the books and observed all the schools - now it's your turn. Practice what you preach, woman. You've worked & studied & prayed for this. You can do it.

    You know it will be a learning process, and you need to always remember that, especially on your worst days. There will always be some days that are better than others; days where you wish you had a simple desk job instead of a crazy, stressful, frustrating, saddening, teaching position. But that's what you get when you work with precious little human souls, you get real life. You get it handed to you every day, tied with a little pink bow. Real life is all those things previously mentioned, but it is also rewarding, amazing, heartwarming, and full of innocence. It's a constantly changing tide, and you're going to have to learn to roll with the waves.

     But it will all be worth it, you'll see. Now go put on that pretty teacher dress you bought months ago while planning for this day. Feel confident. And smart. And able.

    Go out and  t e a c h.

 

A Letter To Myself As A Writer

Dear Lauren, 

              Someday you want to be able to teach groups and groups of precious young minds to write, and write well. Before doing that, you will need to work on improving your own skills and learning to grow in many different ways you never knew were possible. You should attempt writing outside your comfort zone more, because how will you ever be able to inspire and encourage your future students if you do not have faith in yourself? Writing is a scary thing because there is never one right answer, and not everyone will always agree with what you have to say - and even the youngest of students know that. They need a teacher who can say with no regrets that she has ventured into areas outside of her writing comfort zone; a teacher who can write a blog, a short story, an argumentative paper. A teacher who is currently working on a fiction book of her own, which scares/intimidates her to no end, but she still wants to pursue and conquer it. If you want to be not only a good educator, but also a motivator, you need to first advance yourself.